David Chadwick

Fowl Deeds

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The Sussex is a handsome bird

Friendly too, that’s what we’d heard

And though originally bred for meat

(Which this vegetarian household does not eat)

They’re known to be good layers, as well

So we looked on Trade Me under “chooks to sell”

And very soon we’d bought a pair

They cost a little more, being somewhat rare

But I said, “Don’t worry, it’s chicken feed

For two of such an venerable breed.

In fact it’s a paltry amount to pay

For two healthy birds at point of lay.”

 

Feeling well pleased we brought them home

Pure white of feather and rich red of comb

And we put them in with the other chickens

Which I’m sad to say, is when the plot thickens

They beat up the old hens til some of them bled

And then, when they saw the rooster, they fled

They hid in the bushes and wouldn’t come out

Even when we scattered fresh wheat all about

 

And that’s how it’s been ever since I’m afraid

To this very day, not one egg have they laid

So all things considered, when you sum it all up

We have, it appears, been sold a pup

… or two, actually